California Divorce

When it comes to handling divorce cases, the issue of alimony is one of the most hotly contested issues. Alimony is a monthly payment from one spouse to another, designed to help the partner with the lower earning potential to maintain a reasonable lifestyle until he or she is able to make appropriate changes. Determining whether one spouse is entitled to alimony, also known as spousal maintenance, as terms of the dissolution of a marriage is a question that differs from case to case. Each state, each judge, and each couple’s individual situation may warrant different consideration, meaning there is rarely a straightforward formula for coming to terms on an alimony settlement.

The concept of alimony extends all the way back to the time of the Babylonians and is even referenced in the ancient Justinian code. The modern-day approach to alimony has roots in early English law, where divorce was not granted unless extreme circumstances were involved. If a man wished to leave his wife, a legal separation would be granted, but no divorce. In recompense, the man was still required to support his wife and children in the same way he would had a separation not occurred. It is important to note that because women were not primary wage earners, women could not apply for a separation decree unless she had been abandoned by her husband. Women were also not expected to pay alimony.

When divorce became common in the Western world, this tradition of alimony continued. Prior to 1970, it was still the case that men were the primary wage earners in the family, and divorce would leave a woman largely incapable of caring for herself or her children. Even if a woman worked outside the home, she typically made a fraction of her husband’s income. Therefore, alimony and child support were seen as a husband’s obligation to care for his family until his wife could find means to support herself, or more likely, remarry.

Since 1970, views on alimony have changed considerably. While the option is still there to protect women who have put their careers on hold to care for children, alimony is typically not necessary if both partners are steadily employed. The exception is when one partner makes a significant amount more than the other, and the state does not apply the law of community property, where marital assets are equally divided.

Gender is no longer the deciding issue in alimony, and child support is treated as a separate issue in divorce. Women who earn significantly more than their husbands may be ordered to pay alimony, although such cases are still uncommon. As more states move toward a position of equality and more couples sign pre-nuptial agreements, the necessity of alimony is less prominent.

Article provided by the Cantor Law Group an AV rated law firm by Martindale-Hubbell. As named partner of the Cantor Law Group, David Cantor has years of experience and is very well respected as a Divorce Lawyer in Phoenix, AZ. The Cantor Law Group handles all aspects of Family Law from divorce to adoption to child custody issues.

Venturing back out into the world of dating in the wake of a divorce can feel brutal. After the comfort and stability of a marriage, you might feel as if you’ll never reach that level of intimacy with another person. But, the most important thing is to get back in the game, hop back on the horse, and take all those annoying “starting over” metaphors to heart.

As life expectancy increases, marriages of all kinds are crumbling more than ever before. Don’t ever feel like you’re past your prime. Think about Al and Tipper Gore. They were a picture perfect couple with 30 years of marital bliss under their belts. Today, both have put the past behind them and moved on to others more suited to the people they are today. Whether your marriage lasted 50 years or 5 days, here’s a list of tips for those looking to find love again post-split.

1. Ask questions. Feel like you have nothing to say? That’s ok. Ask questions to get your date talking and the dialogue going. Everyone likes talking about themselves, so don’t be afraid to pry a little bit. Steer clear of interview-style, back-to-back inquiries, and let the conversation flow naturally.
2. Give compliments (genuine compliments). Everyone likes a little ego-boost, so find something you like about the person sitting across from you and verbalize it. Like her dress? Say so. Like his watch, praise it. Be honest and specific with your admiration and you’ll immediately help break the ice.
3. Choose an appropriate restaurant. Don’t make your date feel uncomfortable by choosing a back alley dive or an overly extravagant bistro. McDonalds is never an okay choice for a first date (unless you’re twelve, and even then In-and-Out burger is infinitely superior) but attempting to impress a date with an over-the-top establishment can backfire too. A six-course meal or a too-trendy venue is probably not the ideal situation for a first date. Keep things simple and choose a favorite neighborhood place. Opt to avoid any restaurant with past significance or relation to your ex.
4. Don’t talk about your ex. As tempting as it may be to talk about past relationships, now is not the time. End of story.
5. Be open-minded. Maybe he chews strangely, or prattles on about the wine list. Maybe she twirls her hair, or talks loudly. Don’t hold anything against your date right off the bat. Odds are, both parties are nervous. Anxiety can lead to self-consciousness and less than perfect behavior. Being open minded to a second date can help put both of you at ease and keep harsh judgments at bay.

Take these tips to heart and the dating world won’t feel all that scary. Remember to be yourself and, slowly but surely, you’ll feel ready to open up to another relationship.

This is a guest post by Kate Hasell who works with SugarDaddie.com.