This has absolutely nothing to do with divorce, but it was too funny to pass up. Anonymouslawfirm.com is a website about a fictional mega-big law firm. Particularly funny is the “what’s new” entry on the home page about a consitpated partner who “passed a solid stool.” Very funny stuff.

There was a very eye-opening column (in Dear Abby, of all places) about people who thought they were divorced, only to find out years later that their lawyer never submitted the Decree to the Court, so they were still married!

If you are a client in a divorce case, make sure you either get a certified copy of the Decree from the Clerk of Court, or have your lawyer get one for you.

Until you hold that piece of paper in your hands you can’t be sure that your divorce is final.

Jimmy Verner has a very interesting audio post about court orders that prohibit a party from having a boyfriend or girlfriend spend the night while you have possession of the kids.

Follow these tips and you could pay your divorce attorney a lot less:

1. Have an Clear Written Fee Agreement

Whether you hire a lawyer on an hourly or flat fee basis, it is extremely important that you get a written fee agreement that clear defines the terms of the representation, including whether any portion of the retainer is refundable, whether and how often you will receive statements, the attorney’s hourly rates, etc. You should get and keep a copy of this fee agreement.

2. Don’t Mistake Your Divorce Lawyer for Your Therapist

Divorces are extremely emotional. Since your divorce attorney is (or at least should be) firmly in your corner, talking to him can be a very reassuring experience. Because it makes you feel better you can easily get into the habit of calling often, almost daily.

But remember, every time you call your lawyer the clock is ticking and you are getting billed by the hour. Think of it as a very expensive cab ride.

You should communicate with your attorney anytime you need legal advice on your case. But before you pick up the phone make a list of questions or issues you want to discuss and limit your conversation to these points without wasting time ranting about the unfairness of the situation.

3. Don’t Use Your Attorney to Negotiate a Division of Personal Items

Arguing about which party deserves the blue sofa or the bread maker is not a good use of attorney’s fees. As much as possible, you should try to resolve these issues with your spouse.

4. Don’t Throw Away Dollars Trying to Save Nickels

This is extremely important. People will often be extremely frugal about hiring an attorney and think they are saving a lot of money by hiring a lawyer for a small flat fee, or hiring someone who is not very experienced but will work cheaply.This is a mistake and one that could cost you a lot of money in the long run.

Someone who is learning on the job, or is simply unprepared, can cost you a great deal of money. So don’t cheat yourself out of dollars in an attempt to save nickels.