Using Astrology to Understand Your Partner During Arguments

As for bad pick-up lines, “what’s your sign?” is right there with “so, come here often?” But it turns out that this first question has more merit than you might think.

Our Zodiac profiles can determine much more than initial attraction. With patience, introspection and empathy, they can also help us overcome even the worst arguments with a partner.

So, dealing with your partner has felt like talking to a brick wall lately. Do not continue charging expecting a different result. Look up, the solution to your impasse might be in the stars.

How the Stars Help Us Communicate

(Nadia Snopek/

Our Zodiac profile refers to our natal charts. Natal charts capture the position of the Sun, Moon and stars at the exact moment of our birth. We use these charts to determine our Sun, Moon, Ascendant and planetary missions.

Additionally, each natal chart has twelve segments or Houses. Each house relates to a different aspect of life. For example, the fifth house is the house of pleasure, while the seventh house is the house of interpersonal relationships.

By using what we know about the energies and influence of each celestial body, we can better understand those around us. More importantly, we can also gain insight into ourselves.

Each birth chart assignment relates to a specific element of interpersonal conflict.

Use the big three

Distribution of the signs of the ascendant, the sun and the moon

The “big three” of the zodiac are the signs of the sun, the moon and the ascendant. Solar assignments speak of the purpose of a person’s life. They also determine the role of the ego in decision making.

Conflicts are largely rooted in ego desires. Thus, a person’s solar assignment can clarify why they started a fight in the first place. A Virgo Sun, for example, might start a fight if they feel their judgment (and, in turn, their ego) is being challenged.

Conversely, the Moon speaks to our inner shadow. A moon mission reveals what a person needs to feel nurtured. Someone with an Aries Moon, for example, might not feel a fight is over if it doesn’t end in physical intimacy.

Finally, the Ascendant reveals the general outlook of a person. What moral code do they live by? What is their overall approach to life and external interaction? Taurus Risings, for example, are slow to accept change and need more time to digest differing opinions.

Find finer details with planets

Planetary Symbols and Meanings Chart

In addition, each planetary mission gives us an even more precise idea of ​​how our partners are fighting. Mercury rules how a person communicates and processes information. Venus, on the other hand, refers to how we wish to give and receive love.

Mars dictates our physique and our aggression, from fights to sex and everything in between. Mars is the last of the inner planets, which influence our individualities more intensely than the outer planets. Yet these outer planets are not free from side effects.

Jupiter, the first of the outer planets, refers to the expansion of an individual spirit. How open are they to new opportunities or ideas? How interested are they in personal growth? Those with stubborn Jupiter placements can seem particularly like brick walls in arguments.

On the other hand, Saturn rules how we handle challenges and discipline. This planetary mission says a lot about what a person does when the going gets tough. The last three planets – Uranus, Neptune and Pluto – have much more generational effects.

Uranus signals our willingness to embrace new perspectives, while Neptune dictates our sense of spirituality and emotional health. Finally, Pluto rules the subconscious and power dynamics. Due to their long orbits, two partners would need an age gap of seven years or more to have a different assignment to Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto.

Using houses for context

Zodiac wheel with labeled houses

Finally, we can use our Houses to learn even more about ourselves and others. It is important to note which planets and constellations are in which house, as their energies directly influence which aspect of life the house governs.

Each birth chart has the following twelve houses (and we’ve bolded the houses that are particularly important when it comes to relationships):

  • 1st House of Self: Ego, life force, vitality
  • 2nd house of value: resources, wealth, self-esteem
  • 3rd house of communications: communication and extended family
  • 4th house of home and family: Parents, family life, past
  • 5th House of Pleasure: Sex, romance, creativity
  • 6th House of Health: General health, professional life, daily routines
  • 7th House of Partnerships: Committed relationships
  • 8th House of Reincarnation: Sanity, Death, Joint Ventures
  • 9th House of Philosophy: Travel, education, philosophy
  • 10th house of social status: career, public roles, legacy
  • 11th House of Friendships: Community and friendships
  • 12th house of self-cancellation: grief, loss, subconscious

The 4th, 5th and 7th Houses are all particularly indicative of a partner’s argumentative style. The 4th house directly refers to a partner’s childhood and past experiences. Every moment of grief and joy throughout a person’s life affects how they handle (or don’t handle) conflict.

The 5th house, on the other hand, talks about what a partner needs to feel happy in a relationship. What brings them joy? What makes them pale? This mission can shed light on secret desires that your partner may not have expressed to you yet.

Finally, the 7th house speaks directly to relationships, namely those that are committed for the long term. Understanding your partner’s 7th house attribution can be the difference between a long-lasting marriage and a conflict-ridden marriage.

How to weather the storms together

Couple cuddling in bed with dog, star details in clothes
(Nadia Snopek/

It takes more than knowing your partner’s birth chart to weather a storm. Indeed, it is the combination of your two graphs that will determine the best way to handle conflicts. Identify harmonious and dissonant relationships, and go from there.

For example, a relationship with Pisces and Scorpio Mercury can become difficult due to a lack of clear communication. A Pisces Mercury prefers to tone down their speech, while a Scorpio Mercury is ruthlessly rough. It makes Pisces feel attacked and Scorpio feel confused.

However, if both partners had Venus in their 7th house, they could find common ground in giving and receiving affection. Their conflicts can be turbulent, but their similar love styles allow them to reconcile more quickly.

Navigating through our comprehensive Zodiac profiles can be confusing. Still, it’s not nearly as confusing as the nameless complexities of ourselves on any given day. Coexisting with other humans, as layered and convoluted as you, can be difficult.

But with patience and a little heavenly guidance, it can be a lot easier than you think.

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